Drinking to Shut Off Thoughts: Why It Happens

Written by Susan — Quit drinking at 37 • Sober since 1998 • Sharing what actually works

Written by Susan — Quit drinking at 37 • Sober since 1998 • Sharing what actually works

Drinking to shut off thoughts is something many nightly drinkers quietly relate to. When your mind feels full of worries, overthinking, regrets, responsibilities, or endless mental chatter, alcohol can seem like a fast way to create relief.

For a few hours it may feel as though the noise has faded. But for many people, the thoughts eventually return — often bringing anxiety, guilt, or frustration with them.

Understanding why this happens is an important step toward breaking the pattern.

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Why Alcohol Feels Like It Shuts Off Your Thoughts

When you're feeling tired, stressed, or plain fed up, it's easy to turn to alcohol's numbing effect to blur the edges. And while it might take care of the problem for an hour, in reality, the stress is still there, lurking in the background.

Waking up the following morning and finding the previous day's stressors are still there is demoralizing, to say the least. So that very night, you drink again in an attempt to shut down those racing thoughts. And so the cycle continues.

People drink to take their cares away, but their angst is still there the next day, often compounded by a headache, a bad attitude, and disappointment because they drank again.

Why Drinking to Shut Off Thoughts Becomes a Habit

In my Wine O'Clock Habit page, I talk about how the brain believes it's helping us when it creates "associations" as a way to reduce decision-making. 

Once your brain sees that you're doing the same thing every night, i.e. "worrying about paying a past-due bill" and then using alcohol to ease the worry, it thinks that after a few beers, you've forgotten about it.

Tomorrow night rolls around and that same "past-due bill" looms large. Again, you take care of the worry by popping a few beers and "pouff" — the fear around it fades.

When we continue doing that, our brain links "bill worries" = "drink beer" and all will be well. 

Of course, this is only an example of how the habit takes hold. Alcohol's numbing effect takes care of the pain, but only temporarily.

What Are You Really Trying to Escape?

You do not need me to tell you that life can be tough and unfair. It hits you whether you're drunk or sober. 

I know the urge to drink can be brought on by many factors and underlying issues. The anxiety of trying to fit in, loneliness caused by living alone, or the uncertainty of what the future holds. 

Self-criticism was a big thing for me. If something went wrong at work, I'd get home and think, "Oh, what the heck. I screwed that up. I can't do anything right." Once that seed germinates, look out. The pity-party begins, and beer to the rescue. I thought it would cheer me up and numb the pain of feeling inadequate. And then I would end up saying to myself, "who cares about me anyway?"

You have a choice to make: Are you drinking because you're trying to escape or are you drinking because it's "what you do" at night? There's no right answer. But if you're using alcohol to de-stress, just know that drinking doesn't fix the problem. It never will — it never did for me.

The Problem With Using Alcohol as a Mental Off-Switch

Looking back over my 20-year drinking stint, using alcohol to lessen stress only led to more anxiety, poor sleep, and a loss of self-trust. The original thoughts and problems weren't washed away by a sea of alcohol. They were just harder to identify with a fuzzy mind.

As always, the problems returned the very next day. Unresolved, and gaining ground. 

I also realize now that most of the issues were compounded by drinking. Take the work example earlier. If I messed up and tried to fix it with a foggy hangover the day after, I wasn't doing myself any favors or the company I worked for. Both of us deserved better.

How The Somatic Marker Method Explains the Pattern

I'd reached my turning point at age 37. I knew I had to quit drinking. I strongly believed I would never reach age 40 if I continued.

At the latter stages of my drinking, which was nightly, by the way, I was panicking on the inside. I'd tried to quit once before and it lasted nine months. 

I was so scared because I didn't know how to stop.

And then "the unthinkable happened" on January 17, 1998. Read that story, then come on back here.

What to Do Instead When Your Mind Won't Stop Racing

Here are a few alternatives you can use tonight when racing thoughts try to take over...

• Take a walk
• Listen to a podcast
• Read a book
• Do breathing exercises
• Chat with someone you trust

Concentrate on doing one of the suggested things above.

What If the Thoughts Keep Coming Back?

If those racing thoughts do manage to invade, acknowledge that you're having them. Don't dismiss them.

Older wiser me does this:
Figure out what's the worst thing that could happen. Then do your best to make sure it doesn't happen! Sounds overly simplistic? Yes, but once you can put your finger on the "issue," then you can take the necessary steps to avoid landing in a tough spot. 

If you're trying to solve a situation, don't drink. Don't muddy the waters.

A problem is better dealt with when you're sober, believe me! Morning also brings clarity to a dark evening, even more so when you're not hung over.

When It May Be Time to Seek Extra Support

If you're feeling overwhelmed, depressed, or finding things difficult to manage alone, please seek professional help. There's no shame in asking for support.

Getting help does not mean you're weak. I know I always hated asking for help, but when I did, I was always glad I reached out.

Remember: you're not alone.

You Do Not Need to Solve Everything Tonight

Tonight, before pouring a drink, take five minutes and write down every thought currently spinning through your mind.

Don't try to solve anything.

Simply get the thoughts out of your head and onto paper. Seeing them in print often minimizes the anxiety you're feeling.

If you're thinking that taking a drink will relieve mental chatter, you may be pleasantly surprised that it's not alcohol you need. It may simply be that you were seeking relief from mental overload in order to calm your mind.

Understand the Habit More Deeply

The nightly drinking habit rarely comes down to just one thing. Stress, routines, emotional triggers, and automatic thought patterns often work together in ways that aren't obvious until you begin looking more closely.

If today's page resonated with you, the articles below can help you understand why nightly drinking sticks—and, more importantly, how those patterns can begin to change.

→ Explore all Why Nightly Drinking Sticks articles

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➡️ Learn more about the course here: Break the Nightly Drinking Habit

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