You Were Drinking Before You Drank

Written by Susan — Quit drinking at 37 • Sober since 1998 • Sharing what actually works

Written by Susan — Quit drinking at 37 • Sober since 1998 • Sharing what actually works

Most people don't realize this: you were drinking before you drank.

How so?

Drinking begins when they pour the first drink.

I used to think that too.

I believed the battle started sometime later in the evening when the craving showed up and I found myself standing in the kitchen reaching for a bottle.

Looking back, I no longer think that's true.

Many nightly drinkers are already moving toward alcohol hours before the first drink is poured.

Not consciously.

Not deliberately.

But emotionally and mentally, the process has often already begun.

That is what this Susan Unscripted video explores.

Why The First Drink Is Often Not The Beginning

For years, I believed alcohol was the problem.

And alcohol certainly was part of the problem.

But what I eventually realized was that my evening routine had become just as powerful as the drinking itself.

Around the same time every day, the same sequence would begin.

• Work would end.
• The pressure would ease.
• The brain would start looking for relief.

And without realizing it, I was already walking down a familiar path.

The drink itself simply happened later.

The Hidden Transition Point

One of the most important concepts I teach today is what I call the transition point.

This is the period between one part of your day ending and another beginning.

For many nightly drinkers, that transition happens sometime during the late afternoon or early evening.

It is the moment when responsibilities begin winding down and the brain starts looking ahead to comfort, reward, relaxation, or escape.

That does not automatically mean someone will drink.

But it often creates the conditions where drinking starts feeling increasingly attractive.

And once that process starts, the evening can unfold almost automatically.

Why The Craving Often Feels So Powerful

Many people blame themselves when cravings show up.

• They think they lack discipline.
• They think they should be stronger.

But cravings rarely appear out of nowhere.

Usually there are earlier signals.

Thoughts.

Emotions.

Routines.

Expectations.

The brain begins anticipating a familiar reward.

By the time the craving arrives, the habit loop may already be well underway.

That is one reason the urge can feel so overwhelming.

You are not only fighting a craving. You are interrupting a pattern that may have been repeated hundreds or even thousands of times.

What I Wish I Had Understood Earlier

If I could go back and tell my drinking self one thing, it would be this:

Pay attention to what happens before the urge arrives.

• Notice what changes emotionally.
• Notice what thoughts begin appearing.
• Notice when the brain starts bargaining.
• Notice when the evening starts feeling predictable.

Because that is often where the opportunity for change lives.

Not at the moment you pour the drink.

But much earlier.

The Somatic Marker Method And The Transition Point

Instead of waiting for a craving to become overwhelming, you begin noticing the early signals that precede it.

Those signals might include:

• Emotional exhaustion
• Reward-seeking thoughts
• Evening anticipation
• Stress relief expectations
• Familiar routines
• Automatic mental bargaining

Once you recognize those patterns, you have a better chance of interrupting them before they gather momentum.

That does not make change easy.

But it often makes change possible.

Why I Made This Video

I made this video because so many people believe they are failing when they cannot stop themselves once a craving becomes intense.

What I eventually learned is that the process often begins much earlier.

Understanding that changed the way I viewed my own drinking habit.

It also became one of the foundations behind how I teach habit change today.

The goal is not simply to fight alcohol.

The goal is to understand the sequence that leads to it.

Because once you can see the pathway clearly, you finally have a chance to choose a different direction.

→ Back to: Susan Unscripted Videos on Live Better Sober

Ready for More Support?

Explore Live Better Sober: Quit Drinking — Break the Alcohol Habit, a practical, shame-free 66-day course designed to help you recognize and interrupt the pattern behind your evening drinking.

➡️ Learn more about the course here: Break the Nightly Drinking Habit

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